Subject: Fathers promoting Sexual Integrity
From: "Fatherhood Foundation" <[email-masked]>
To: "Warwick Marsh" <[email-masked]>
Date: Sun, 24 Jul 2005 09:07:37 +1000

Issue No. 152-25th July,2005

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Welcome to fathersonline.org

Grandfathers

Laughter

Tips for dad

Sexual Integrity Forum

Single Dads

Thought for the Week

News & Info

Dad's Prayer

Mission Statement & Help Us!

Welcome to fathersonline.org

Dear Warwick,

I was on my way to Melbourne by plane to see someone about the Sexual Integrity Forum. Every time I looked out my window I noticed snow on the ground, lots of snow. Then the pilot’s voice broke my reverie with the announcement that Melbourne was ‘fogged in’, and that we had been circling the central Victorian alps for some time, whilst waiting for the fog to clear.

I felt relieved that Victorians were not in fact gripped by an ice age, and to pass the time I introduced myself to the woman next to me. I found out that she was a high profile sales executive in the computer industry. When she asked what I did, I said that “I run The Fatherhood Foundation”. Often I will quietly brace myself for a negative reaction to this information.  In this case however, the information was quite warmly received and I soon found out why.

Both this lady and her husband were successful business executives, she in computers and her husband in architecture. They had been blessed with two young twin girls. Her husband had taken a year off to look after the girls when they were first born and he had enjoyed it so much that he was still in the home-husband role years later.

Encouraged by her evident interest in the importance of fathers in families, I showed her our recently released document ‘Fathers in Families’. She was fascinated with the information on how fathers play an important role in ‘regulating their daughter’s sexual development’. A US study has found that girls who grew up with out fathers, as compared to those who grew up with them, were 53% more likely to marry as teenagers, 111% more likely to have children as teenagers,164% more likely to have a pre-marital birth, and 92% more likely to dissolve their own marriages. New Zealand research has found that the absence of a father is a major contributing factor in teenage pregnancy and early onset of puberty.  Dr Bruce Ellis, Psychologist in Sexual Development at the University of Canterbury in Christchurch asserts that one of the most important factors in determining early menarche is the girl’s father. He is quoted as follows; “There seems to be something special about the role of a father in regulating their daughter’s sexual development”

A British study has found that girls brought up by lone parents were twice as likely to leave home by the age of 18 as the daughter of an intact home, were three times as likely to be co-habiting by the age of 20, and almost three times as likely to have a birth out of wedlock.

When I first began to study the importance of fathers to their children, I held the misconceived assumption that the father-son relationship was somehow more important than a successful father-daughter relationship.  Now my opinion has changed. The positive effect an involved, committed and loving father has in his daughter’s life is absolutely critical to her development into full and healthy womanhood.

A study by Forsman in 1989 concluded that a woman’s perception of her father’s unconditional regard was significantly related to her self-esteem, whereas her perception of her mother’s unconditional regard was only weakly related to her self-esteem. Schulenberg, Vondracek and Crouter (1984) found that career orientation among college women was more contingent on their father’s influence and attitudes toward career roles than on their mother’s. My argument here is not intended to diminish the importance of a mother’s influence in her daughter’s psychosexual development, but rather to highlight the importance of healthy father-daughter relationships.

My good friend Danna Vale, Federal Member for Sutherland, puts it this way: “Boys and girls gain their identity from their father and receive their nurturing from their mother. Mothers and fathers each play a vital role in their children’s development. It is critical for fathers in particular not to shrink back from their relationship with their daughters as they grow up. Most young women will measure their future involvement with men and their choice of husband against their father”.

In a few weeks time the Fatherhood Foundation will be holding a Sexual Integrity Forum at Parliament House. Many people would ask why the Fatherhood Foundation should be involved in sexual integrity.  I believe we can’t afford not to be involved.

One thing clearly conveyed through all the research is that a father’s positive involvement in his daughter’s life is crucial. Conversely a father’s betrayal of his daughter’s sexuality is diabolical beyond belief. The fact that victims of incest are likely to become drug addicts, prostitutes and abusers themselves is widely recognised. Sexual integrity is one of the core attributes of fathers who want to be the best dads in the world for their children. This is what excellence in fathering is all about.

Lovework

That mother who I met on the plane that day was greatly encouraged to find an organisation devoted to the concept of ‘excellence in fathering’. Your wife will be greatly encouraged by your devotion to excellence in fathering. More importantly, both your sons and your daughters will reap the greatest benefits. After all, you would like your daughter to marry a nice guy. Wouldn’t you?

Yours for Healthy Relationships

Warwick Marsh

________________________________________________________

Warwick Marsh  has been married to Alison for 29 years. He is the father of five children, four boys and one girl, ranging in age from 24 years to 12 years.  Warwick is a musician, songwriter, producer and public speaker who likes to think he can still laugh at himself.

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Grandfathers

Character is what you are in the dark.

Dwight L. Moody

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Laughter

Man or woman?

While eating out and the bill arrives, the guys will each throw in $20 even though the bill is only $22.50. None will have anything smaller, and none will admit they want change back. When girls get the bill, out come the calculators.

With money a man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 dollar item she doesn't want.

In a bathroom a man has 6 items. A toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from Holiday Inn. A women has on average 337 items in her bathroom. A man would not be able to identify most of these Items.

In arguments a woman has the last word. Anything a man says after that is the begining of a new argument.

Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

A women worries about the future until she gets a husband. A husband doesn't worry about the future until he gets a wife.

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, and read a book. A man will get dressed up for weddings and funerals.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful women is one who can find such a man.

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Tips for dad

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Sexual Integrity Forum

SEXUAL  INTEGRITY  FORUM

8-9th August 2005  Main Committee Room, Parliament House (4th Draft 10 July 05)

‘Promoting good quality relationships between men and women

for the purpose of ending the sexual exploitation of women and children in Australia in the 21st century’

OBJECTIVES  OF  THE  FORUM

1)  Define sexual integrity.

2)  Promote the need for sexual integrity in order to foster gender equality, gender reconciliation and healthy family relationships.

3)  Promote the need for sexual integrity in media, communications, advertising and the workplace for the greater good of the whole community.

4)  Promote the regulation of the internet to curtail the sexual exploitation of women and children.

5)  Advocate for the ending of sexual slavery – in particular the end of international trafficking in women for prostitution in Australia.

OUTCOMES  OF  THE  FORUM

All of the above with a particular priority on immediate legislation and action to deal with sexual exploitation on the internet and trafficking in women for sexual slavery.

FORUM  INFORMATION  &  LOGISTICS

Speakers & Presenters: Keynote - Dr Mary Anne Layden, University of Pennsylvania and others from Australia will be invited to present papers on the subjects concerned. Others would be invited to present papers on specific elective policy subjects.

Elective Policy Forums - It is envisaged that the forum, after several general sessions, would be broken up into five smaller elective policy groups, as per our list of objectives, for presentation of papers and to formulate definitions and policy.  Last on the agenda would be a general voting session.

Voting – Consensus model with 80% majority vote required to confirm policy recommendations.

Parliamentary Contributions - It is envisaged to have an open session where the forum reports to parliamentarians and seeks contributions from members of both houses on Tues 9th August, 5-6pm.

Publicity - Papers on website before and after forum and also media conferences.  We would expect a large media interest in the subject matter.

Lead Up to the Event - Aim to hold several public consultation and telephone mini-conferences in the lead up to the main forum.

Duration – Two full days with a special dinner on the evening of the first day.

Cost – Minimal charge or no charge (dinner extra) – conference costs raised through sponsorship?

Invitation – By invitation only with letter sent by organisers with letters of support from various parliamentarians.  We estimate the number of attendees will be between 40 & 80 people.

Parliamentary Hosts of the Conference - Nine member team with representatives from:

4 Coalition -

4 Labor -

1 Family First -

Note: Other inclusions may be possible

Organisers and Convenors – Warwick & Alison Marsh, Fatherhood Foundation with assistance from like minded groups.

Who Would be Invited? – Those community leaders and organisations from a broad spectrum of society who are in general agreement with the need of such a forum, and who concur with the overall purpose of the goals of the forum, in particular goals 4 and 5.

For more information phone Warwaick Marsh on 0242726677

Limited sets available. Please hurry and book.

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Single Dads

Below are just a few of the emails that I have been swamped with since sending out the notice of public hearings for Wed & Thurs, today.  Many are from women. ALL are  disgusted.  Where are the representation from men's groups, you ask?
Easy, they obviously didn't want you there. DIDS received this notice today and it was forwarded from a friend, not from the Attorney General’s Department. The hearings are tomorrow and Thursday in Melbourne and Sydney. We are in Coffs Harbour. We did not even know these hearings were taking place before receiving the email from a friend TODAY.  Our submission has gone in. Barry Williams, President of the Lone Fathers Association, told me today that he will give evidence to the committee in Canberra on the 25th July. The Shared Parenting Council Australia will also give evidence the same day. Dads in Distress (DIDS) was not invited to give evidence.  We have put our trust and support behind the SPCA, I trust we will not be let down. In other words, NOTHING short of'  'EQUAL' time should be accepted. Every father's group in the country simply wants that, including the LFAA.  I would implore as many of you as possible attend these hearings and have your say. I am disgusted that something as important as this, that concerns the future lives of our children, is dealt with so pitifully inadequately. Little information other than the day before it's about to happen. Who's kidding who? I thought this new reform was about transparency. What is transparent are dads, and their kids are once again to be sold down the river.  Again I ask that every DIDS group, every men's group, every grandparent, every individual, either voices their opinion at the hearings or at least via email to the committee, the Attorney General and their local MP.

I quote: The Chairman of the Committee, Peter Slipper MP, said that the Committee would be hearing from a number of individuals and organisations regarding the draft Family Law Amendment (Shared Parental Responsibility) Bill 2005.  'The Committee wants to hear as many different viewpoints as possible within the short timeframe for this inquiry,' Mr Slipper said.

'To this end we have organised two full days of hearings in Melbourne and Sydney with a range of witnesses for each day. Further hearings will be held in Canberra next week.'

Thanks Mr Slipper, two full days to hear us. Some of us have been waiting patiently for over two years to see our children. The biggest reform to Family Law in 30 years and we get two full days in Melbourne & Sydney and you say the committee wants to hear as many different viewpoints as possible. Who's kidding who?  What about the other states? Or is that going to be run as covertly as this?  You know, I honestly believed this Government was fair dinkum in its reform process.  I honestly believed the Bill put forward with some minor adjustments was excellent legislation.  I honestly thought you were delivering dads back to their kids. But when you don't even want to hear from the very people this affects, your constituents, well, you have lost me.

The line has been drawn guys!

Tony Miller

Dids

* * * * * *

Dear Tony

This is the most important amendment in Family Law affecting the lives of children and the press office sends out notification on 19th July and meeting to be held in Melbourne 20th July at 9am, I ask the questions:

(1) Why was this not advertised in all local papers?

(2) Were people or organisations invited to attend?

(3) Where are the grandparents groups?

(4) Why such short notice, I received press release this morning 20th July, written 19th July by Andrew Dawson

The committee may hear from many Organizations who are only speaking from their own charter but where in the listing are the grassroots people that these organisations are speaking about and eventually this amendment will affect.

The children of Australia need both Mother’s and Father’s in their lives where it is lawfully possible,  parenting is learned we are not born with the knowledge, with both parents having a role in the up bringing it  will eventually give these children  informed choices on parenthood which will affect them later in life. Do we break the circle of dysfunctional families or do we continue as we are. The answer surely is we break the circle by giving the children tools to work with later in life when they become parents.

Hoping for a favourable reply

Yours truly,

Mrs. L

* * * * * *

Dear Tony

This is a gross injustice of parliamentary privilege.  No representation from any men’s groups - what a crock!  Two years of lobbying to be pulled apart by a biased group of self righteous females and a committee that seems to have forgotten that it takes MEN to be fathers of our children.  Keep going guys, because this sort of thing alienates men from women even more than exists based on research evidence. You give little notice with regards to the public hearings so no-one can prepare or . This has fabricated SETUP written all over it. No men’s groups represented. What sort of debate is that?

WAKE UP BECAUSE YOU ARE LOSING VOTES AND DESTROYING OUR CHILDREN AND CREATING A LOST GENERATION OF FATHERLESS CHILDREN, NOT TO MENTION CHILDLESS FATHERS THAT DO NOT GET TO SEE THEIR CHILDREN - A MOTHER CAN NEVER BE A FATHER TO OUR KIDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh by the way I see my children daily!  I do not hate women either. My comments are purely directed to those policy makers that make ludicrous decisions like this one.

Colin

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Thought for the Week

For many little girls,

life with a father is a dress rehearsal

for love and marriage.

David Jeremiah

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News & Info

The Family Court to consider
Child Sex Change

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,16022680-1242,00.html

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Letters

Dear Fatherhood Foundation

The newsletter is terrific - thanks Warwick.

Regards

Jim Turner

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Dad's Prayer

Dear God

I didn’t know that I was so important

to my daughter’s future as a young woman.

I figured it was all ‘mum’s job’.

Help me stay involved with her.

Help me figure out the boundaries.

Help me respect her uniqueness as a woman.

Help me guide my children

by being the guide and not just offering directions.

I don’t want to speak words without meaning

Help me be true.

Help me be pure.

Help me be consistent.

Help me be loving.

After all, I do want my daughter
to marry a ‘nice guy’.

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Mission Statement & Help Us!

Mission Statement
The Fatherhood Foundation is a charitable, non profit incorporated association with a goal to inspire men to a greater level of excellence as fathers, by encouraging and educating them, thereby renewing and empowering families.

Click here for more information about us

Help Us!

The Fatherhood Foundation believes that the key to life is giving.  That's why this newsletter is given freely without expectation.  Life is also about relationships.  That's what being a good father is all about, developing relationships with your loved ones.

If you would like to give financially to the Fatherhood Foundation,

please mail your cheque or money order to:

Fatherhood Foundation

PO Box 440

WOLLONGONG  NSW  2520

AUSTRALIA

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